Archive for April, 2009

Another hectic week

or should I say WEEKS ahead??? TT

Biochemistry is actually officially over with lectures. And I missed the last lecture by not going as I had severe headaches TT I can seriously kill myself. Ok, not that I can concentrate too even with my headache.

But I seriously did not work hard enough for such an important semester. Before leaving Brunei and coming back to Sunway, my family, uncle and aunt knew how much I dread coming into second year. First year can be a breeze because most of the things were covered in A levels. Second year? I felt so skeptical!! I kept worrying and complaining. But they never give me any pressure and told me to just try and see how. I am trying and its actually not very hard.

Ok, other than Genetics? I just need to really revise more for Genetics. I never fail anything and hope I won’t this time. But I just seem to not be able to sense the “urge”. Seriously running out of time! TT

Now what are rolling on the list:

  • 30 pages maximum Biochemistry lab report
  • Genetics lab report (for three weeks! TT)
  • Ecology second essay on the field trip (processing raw data –> graphs and all TT)
  • Ecology quizzes (two more to go!)
  • AND MORE THINGS BEFORE FINALS! TT

Seriously, I can feel the pressure but I am not starting much TT. Went out so much and going to go out again tonight and tomorrow. I know I enjoy outings. But… *look at that list again* Sighhh!!!!

Nevermind.. really felt bad that someone who cared for me so much yet when he was in distress, I was not able to help much. While he was not really feeling well, I was in a very bad state emotionally. It was probably due to that, that I did not care enough and he did not want to add more to what I was going through? I did know there is something wrong but I thought it was due to the university workload and a slight sore throat. I do not know how bad he was feeling health-wise and all. Made me felt so bad as a friend. Hope he will be well enough soon! And make his trip back to Sunway and continue on with his studies! (and a nicer geeky smile with COLOURFUL braces XP)

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AHHHHHH!!

1. Went grocery shopping at Sunway Pyramid again =))

2. I was too tired after coming back and unload all the things at about 9pm plus.

3. But most probably because I am not feeling well (due to the on going headache, random runny nose and occasional cough plus recurring gastric).

4. I had a great chat with Sayang. I sayang you! =)) People like you certainly make the world turn around a happy tune! I sayang you!

5. Went to shower at a godly hour of 1am. Ok, it was ten minutes before one am! =P

6. Went to have an hour nap, reminding LM to wake me up then.

7. I did not wake up after an hour of nap at 2am.

8. I walked out to look at LM blurry-ly (Did not wear specs) and do not know what I was doing. Back to sleep.

9. At three am, I was awoken by sounds. But too tired to even lift a finger but did remember to set an alarm to wake at 5.30am.

10. Now is nearly 6.30am. AND I am blogging instead of revising. Darn. Kill me!

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Serious note to oneself.

Wordy post ahead. So sorry. Lazy to put pictures!

————————————–

I have been living up to my own promise and also to some others who cared enough to know about what was/is going on. Hereby, I want to say very sincere thanks to you all! =D Really made my days much better.

Yesterday (OMG, its way past yesterday! It is 1.15am now!) was a tough day. No, just a tough evening. I did something I did not intend to. Probably it was too much for me. I am always a “talk” person, who rather talk things out. And talking do let me get the negative things out quicker. But recently, I reached a point where I do not know how to talk things out with this certain someone. And another certain someone is causing me so much dramas. And seriously, I hate dramas. But, really, thank you to this certain someone who talked to me till her dinner time at 8pm. I probably was really wanting some talk session to relieve all those piled up emotions.

Talk about guys who cause all these dramas! It is far worse! TT I always thought most guys would be like my brother. He entertain my “talks” by simply agreeing (so he can go on flirting with girls on MSN haha) or just remain silent. Help me reduce my anger/frustration by just simply say some bad things (which he probably did not meant.) back at the problem. But nothing serious. It was always just to help me get back to normal phase! =D *hearts him* So sad that I have not been talking to him for such a long time already!

But most guys I have met are neutral ones except for one! Before I go on, I just have to be glad that there is always one Mr Nice Guy who listens and calms me yet is not biased, even towards me. He tells me about what I always tell him! LOL. He said I am egoistic and selfish! (I have always mentioned these, did I not?) Ego is something i did not choose but still stuck on to when it came knocking on my doors. I will give my ego away only when it is really worth it. I do NOT simply take risk to give away my ego.

AND…

Everyone is born selfish. This is norm and it just varies with the degree of selfishness. If the world is fair with no selfishness in oneself, tell me how the world turns? The bird will not be having the worm for a meal because it will be selfish to care for its own survival and not the worm’s right? I do not mean that selfishness is a right but it does exist in everyone. It takes courage to admit only. If there is no selfishness in this world, why would there be poverty, famine, etc? So, you tell me! Enlighten me please!

And thanks to another one who always do not join in flaming/dramas. No comment sometimes is a good thing. Remaining silent sometimes keep people sane. But I still insist, explaining is good to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and also to clear some bad debts off. As I said, I would not want to die one day and leaving so many mysteries behind. I will be dying an unhappy death. (No, I am NOT suicidal)

I do not want to name any names, I do not want to mention what was/is going on. I just hope that some people who always thought others are childish do grow up and stop making such dramas. It hurts a lot when trust is taken for granted even though chances were repeatedly given and with lies constantly spun. I am NEVER a person who love reality drama. Serious. I have had enough.

To another certain someone, I really was serious about NOT feeling suicidal yet used that word. It was because I do not know how to express to you that I felt so heavy headed and my heart was sinking so low and I felt like getting out instantly. =D I am mature enough to handle such stuff. And thanks for telling me about how ugly nature of people get revealed with time and how I have to learn my lessons, keep my guard up at all times and to make me realise that such people do not need ANY reason to just hurt people at any time. Thanks so much!

I have always known what was going on but live in denial (yes, I admit I live in denial for this case) and would not want to wake up. I kept on giving the trust to someone not worth my trust. I should really smell some coffee and wake up! (Probably this is the reason I hate the smell of coffee) But this should not be a reason for me to suddenly love coffee =P

I have always remained silent on a lot of grounds. I am never a person who would talk about things when I am angry/sad at the first moment. Blogging sometimes release the tensions though but I don’t do it often because I am still the kind of person who thinks that its better to shut up when sad/angry. Anyway how, I am really sad over what happened and do NOT know what will happen. I just need more “sayangs” and more encouragement to go on. I have been able to for such a long period of time already, I should be able to continue right?

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I slacked for two whole days!

1. Yes, I slacked pretty much after completing my Biochemistry assignment 2. Watched drama, played Friends For Sale in Facebook, chatting, blogging, went out for a movie, etc

2. Yeah, I went out for a movie =) Finally! Been too much to just stay at home doing boring works =S Felt so suffocated at home. The stupid hot weather does not help! It has been so long that I tried to get the housemates to go but none wanted to. Thanks to Michelle and Ying Xuan for layan-ing me =)

3. I hate Aprils now! damn hot and I never realised throughout my whole life. Only when there is no air-conditioner. Sighh.. never thought I would ever live without an air-conditioner other than in Paris (You would NOT need any there) My skin is getting terrible with lots of rashes, especially around my neck and arms. =S

4. I finished watching Gems of Life!!! 82 episodes! 45 minutes each episodes. This is how much I slacked! I laid down comfortable on my bed, but it was still pretty warm, and completed the series.

5. End of story –> I did not do my Genetics. I woke up very late this morning. And I am blogging! >< Its 11am now, I should start. But I figure it would end up with me doing nothing much and its time to have fun again! No no.. no one is going to have fun with me. They are so deeply engrossed in their work. Pah..boring!

6. *updated at 11.10am* Oh yeah, forgot to mention, I slacked so much and got sick. Sighh must blame the weather and not my slacking LOL. Woke up and felt the typical throat-mouth taste when I am getting sick, swollen lymph nodes near my jaw (both side), runny nose and heavy head TT no, I am NOT sick! I cannot be sick! Hmph *adamant look!*

P.s. Sulyn! I am so sorry for not being able to make it for lunch AGAIN. That assignment was supposed to be due at 5pm that day. But only at about 2pm (??), I was told it was extended to Monday. =S

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Days getting better with nice people

1. Jeou Yee actually did what he promised! Easter chocolates =) Yummm Well, he never lies, but he bluffs >< (He always insists its different. So be it as long as I get my Easter eggs! =P) He actually has a lot and I helped him gave them to Sue, Jasmine, Khoo, Wen Hao and whoever I know in that computer lab! Hehe..IMG_0307 2. Khoo’s sentence really hit me and made me thought. He said something very randomly for some time back already and it still surprises me why it sticks in my mind. But it is all good =) Thanks =D

3. It felt really nice when you are all stressed out and people whom you never thought care, cared. Thanks so much Sue, Wen Hao and Khoo. And all those help when I needed them, especially Yan Wan, Sulyn and Suh Ming =) Warms my heart to think about those moments.

And sure enough, “The best things in life are usually unseen, and that is why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry and dream. ” Quoted from Sulyn’s blog.

3. We had a real busy week time. Well, I never said I am free nowadays. University trying to kill me! >< We had an assignment of four questions due and yet so little time. So we shared the workload. It was fun despite some of the not-meant-to-be-mentioned things. I just hope next time I do not succumb to people’s favour and made someone else so miserable. Probably that someone is not really miserable but it surely made me feel bad. I promise! No more next time =)us We really did work but its funny how we actually used MSN to communicate rather than face-to-face when we are actually already in the same place! haha

4. We had Nando’s delivery. This is so fun! In Brunei we do not get so much deliveries. Ok, we probably need not have to since its so small. We only ever had pizza deliveries before from Pizza Hut LOL

5. The kitchen’s pipe broke and its irreparable. No filtered water >< But not a big effect for the time being. It just happened last night.IMG_0339 6. Lee Ming actually mentioned that there was a fire somewhere near our apartment and I do not believe that at first. Growing up in Brunei, I seldom see fires. I mean I do see a lot of open burning LOL but not those house on fire kind of thing. Anyway, I did not notice cause I was stressed enough and just stayed in my room. Ok ok, I was chatting too much. HAHA. But there really was a fire ok?!IMG_0334 7. As I mentioned, recently chat too much. As in excessively. Many random chats being pointless but all nice cause it is part of the catch up which I missed for appearing offline most of the time in the past fortnight.

8. Been brushing up my Malay skill LOL. With some new friends made over the laboratory sessions. Especially Semut Comel (new nick: CC) and Syira.

9. Oh yeah there was this highway that I wanted to blog about but always forgot. Its just right beside our apartment. That week before mid semester break, I saw the first car accident along with Lee Ming. I did not bother to take a picture until few days after, another accident happened. I took it. IMG_9879 THEN! ANOTHER TWO CAR ACCIDENTS HAPPENED THE NEXT DAY. IMG_9882IMG_9908 Sure jinxed. I think its the Puchong toll there..don’t know what highway LOL

10. OK make this the last point, ten is perfect I guess haha. I think I eat way too much when I am stressed out but can totally go without food when sad. Hmm..and gastric strikes only when I am sad. (Or was it really MENTOS that helped me recover so quick?) But I really mean it..University is driving me crazy! ><

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