Something to ponder upon

Is it not weird sometimes you just find solace or love in random people whom you are not really close to?

A simple hug may mean nothing to those who gave it but those who receive it might felt the love and care. It is just a kind of warmth. And thank you to you for that generous hug that afternoon.

A simple “How are you?” sometimes can miraculously brighten up my day. It is just about care? Probably this is how when little gestures shown by people to me touched my heart.

A random sms from someone telling me that I am being missed made me feel happy throughout the day. Had it not been for exams, maybe I would feel happy thinking about it the whole week! =P

And many other occasions where people showed me care, showered me with love, and spend even just the littlest time with me… To all these, I really have to thank them. Jasmine, Michelle, Jeou Yee, Sue, Wen Hao, Suh Ming, Cheryl, Zen Xern and basically a lot more people. It means a lot. A lot!

Most probably I do not show when I do have some problems bugging me. Or I do through my blog. And only if the problem is a real huge (as to be defined by me only) then it will go all over my face. And it is sad sometimes the littlest thing can bug me for the longest time ever.

There was a year where I did not smile MOSTLY. I did not realise I was that depress that year until a rather new customer of my dad told me that ever since he started visiting my dad’s restaurant, he never saw me smile like I did on that night. And it was nearly a year already. His simple comment made me loosen up and I got back to my bubbly happy self.

Currently, I am like in between going back into that period of time where I do not feel like talking or smiling at all, do not even mention laugh and being pulled back to the happy self. But I know it is a matter of choice for myself whether I want to be happy or not. Whether I want to let something affect my mood or not. Whether I want to care what people want to say/do from their side and not listen to my side. Whether I want to just brush off everything and stay with positive aura. Whether to keep things inside and let it run like a time bomb or not. Whether to just always learn to let go and forget or not.

It is always just up to me to make my life and myself happier. No one should be able to just make my day go bad just like that. Even an apology sometimes should not suffice for what has gone bad? But it is always a matter whether I want to or not, right? It has been such a long time since I became so unhappy. I am determined to walk out of these. And thank god for people aforementioned. Really, thank you. You all add to the determination for me to become a happier and better person.


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