Archive for August, 2010

The relapse

Is finally here…

Perhaps I anticipated it. It came about a month later than I thought it would. Last year, the pain was on the left wrist, starting around July. And now it is on my right wrist.

I started eating Naproxen already. Its a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug. It is not supposed to cause drowsiness but I constantly feel lethargic. Dislike this feeling. And also the possibility of getting gastric. Well, yesterday I was feeling bloated but I had to eat Naproxen. My solution was to down some Gaviscon together with it. Suddenly, the medicine is not as nice anymore. I WANT CANDIES!

The pain is bearable for now. I can still type without much discomfort. Pain peaks only when I am using too much force or bend, pull etc… Wonder if this pain will be worse and intensify like it did? The thought of going to hospital and wasting three hours there is unbearable but I might need to go get the diagnosis/blood profiles! Of course, hopefully that day won’t come!

Just wanted to rant after so many days,

The one who wants to know what is really wrong!

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Did I ever say?

I do not really like big crowds, especially those I am not close with. And in large crowds (a group of more than five?), with people whom I am not close with or cannot relate to, I tend to be very quiet. To a degree that people think I am shy? Or to a degree that I am not acting like myself?

I have been refraining from eating with the seniors, fearing that they would laugh at how I just eat soup and not eat the noodles, or not being able to finish a meal?! Yet it feels weird not eating with them after working in the same space for sometime. Since Khoo suggested for the pasta lunch, I asked them to join and boy was I lucky, cause the soup was not really a matching one with the pasta, I did not drink a lot. And I managed to finish what I ordered =)

Then there comes this second time, this time Yee Meng was present =D I could not stop telling you how I have this “tai ka jie” in my lab who is very caring =) But it just reminds me that I could not even get the chilli from the next table when she could just walk over and ask/get it. I must learn to be more independent *reminder!*

This was unexpected because I thought it was a Friday and the cafeteria should be open. Yet to find out it is closed as it was a public holiday too. AND THEY CHOSE MIAN DUI MIAN PAN MEE.

Yes, I eat all the soup but not the noodle as usual. Von Yi was already starting to complain and I had to just tell her “shhhhh”… or else the lab would have another thing to talk about me! Seong Hoong and Yee Meng help finish my noodle anyway =D Hehe…

But it was a weird lunch because I do not talk as much. Both that lunches were weird anyway. Maybe I have not gotten use to their presence at such times. I never knew I take time to make “friends” =.=

Well, although I know Seong Hoong  since last semester (although we took the same unit two semesters back then), he still gives me an authoritative figure feeling. Similarly, I know Shanq Yeet a little longer but could not relate to him albeit I can play more with him! I just only knew Patric and the others, not more than two months. So this should be normal.

I do not know why I try to justify my behaviour. Sigh… I am weird. or perhaps this is called unique? Daily, I am being reminded of how clumsy and careless I am. I cannot do anything but to laugh it off. But I promise to be a better person! I will be. I must be!

Time is short. I want to flyyyyy~

The one who dreams way too much!

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GC broke down! =(

Ok, still not pronounced dead yet.

I was contemplating to blog about this or not as I have not yet post up on the holidays that I promised. And also, this case is not exactly to be shared in detail with others.

But thinking further, its not really a serious problem already. Just at that point in time, RM10K is a big amount that let me survive one semester in Malaysia (not inclusive of school fees, mind you!) And so, it is not a small amount.

What happened was, that was actually the very first day papa Juan decided he trust me to use the GC machine myself. That expensive piece! And I thought it was a great day too since I got another surprise in the mail box. Everything started well until one of the lab technician (I guess he is a lab tech) came in.

He was supposed to switch on the compress air for the GC he is using. But he turned off mine instead! =.= I know, to many its really incomprehensible. But I think I am usually blur too, so I might have done the same mistake too. Just he did not realise what the consequences are. His sorry is as sincere and I would really want to take it in whole heartedly.

But I know the consequence. This is not the first time he did it. But for the first time, I was quick to notice and got it turned on again. But this time around, I was focusing on the machine and realised the equilibrium time took a little too long than usual.

I called papa Juan in his office right away and let him know how serious it was. I refused to say any names at first but then, it is impossible. He knew it and I kept telling him not to scold the person involved. But then I think it was not really my say?

I got panicky and went back up to the machine and continue running. The plot was CRAZY. Totally not what I am used to seeing. I had to call papa Juan yet again and in a panicky tone, I got him to JUST COME OVERRRRR =( And he did. First thing was he got the person involved out to talk. Out of my sight purposely because he knew I would not like seeing him “talking” with the person in charge. But it did not really help because I feel really bad for the other person! I do not know whyyyy =(

I think I am not up for panicky stuff. Serious stuff. Or what ever. I cried talking about it to others. Well, not face to face at least. On a side note, Seong Hoong did agree directly that I am very dependant on my supervisor. He learnt on his own for his project yet I am always a phone call away from my papa Juan. Self comfort, he is doing an honours project and I am just doing a third year elective! Sighhh… that does not sound really convincing. Nevermind, back to the GC! Perhaps I should not even think of it anymore?!

But the damage is already there. RM10000. Any rich people reading this and want to sponsor a new GC machine? Or just the parts? It is not easy to get the parts too cause its an obsolete model! =( We have a few other GC machines but in School of Science only has two. One is that obsolete model and another is a newer one. But according to my papa Juan, they can be compared to cars. The newer model one looks extremely good but has no accessories. The old one is a gold antique.

Sigh, now its not only RM10000, but also my project and Patric’s honours! The results are still considered alright but my experiment is not exactly well I think. I have yet to discuss with papa Juan on Monday to decide on what to do. I hope the GC stays as good as it can, behave as well as it can. Just for Patric and my projects! Pleaseeeeeee…

Happy holidays peeps,

The one who worries a lot most of the time!

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Lab rants

There are just things meant to be released. I planned to sleep early but things go wrong =.=

So let me rant for awhile.

No, its not about my experiment. It is considered half successful this time around I guess =) I am just wondering if I should put in more time/effort to do the reflux thingy. Will talk to my papa Juan thereafter! xD

So… what is the problem? There is this Iranian girl (IF I did not remember wrongly), she took and used the incubator which I previously booked for two days! And she is going to use it for a freaking ten days. She did not even tell me about it or apologise. If she had seen it thereafter only, she should also make an effort to tell me. Had it not been Erik, I would not know and would not be able to find an alternative!

So frustrating! I had to constantly call and bother Dr Juan some more just because of this. Because without incubator, my experiment won’t work at all! But also thanks to Erik for the great favour. He helped me yet again to get an available shaker incubator. I am very grateful for this.

Then comes the problem that the microbiology is of limited access, even to lecturers. Erik was telling me how its 100% Dr Juan has no access! And the keys are not easily lent! So… I was worried and I do not feel like troubling Erik further.

I went back to my supervisor who has always been very tolerating of me and my clumsiness! =.= Just to make sure his card works for the level 5, he got me to get his card to try. And it works! But…

I ruined his card tag =.= how clumsy can a person be? Ok, perhaps I should not even blame myself. My pain is coming back and its getting intense. It was such a torture to even jump/run a little this evening. The pain came shooting on my left knee when I was going through a door (which I came out of, from the bridge connecting building 2 and building 3) =.= I nearly fell flat down on my face. Lucky there was no one looking too! BUT I RUINED DR JUAN’S TAG!

I haven’t yet admitted to it. I taped it back and returned it to him. I guess he did not suspect and I ran away quickly. Well, guilty! Nevermind, I went to get a new one and hope to pass it back to him and also to admit my wrong!

All this for that girl! But its not like I am keeping grudges. Just hope she would have said sorry only. I could not possibly call her to stop her incubation right? I cannot get over the fact she did not say sorry and also gave a very lame excuse. My booking is just one line above her booking. HOW CAN SHE NOT SEE IT?! =(

Whether on purpose or not, the sorry meant a lot. But I guess it does not matter anymore?! I will forget it pretty soon anyway. Unless she does something similar again! =.= When I was in a rush, she came in looking for help with the shaking incubator. Seong Hoong was so mean cause he did not layan her. I was in a rush but still need to help her out. I did not do it unwillingly lah…  But I still have not gotten over it mah

Having an early lab tomorrow! Go to sleep bah! This would not even matter soon anyway. I should be happy over the fact that the incubator problem is solved. Left with the key/access. I already emailed Dr Juan as a reminder (as he requested) and hopefully it won’t be too much troubles for him!

Nights people,

The one who is still very blessed to have good supervisor and lab mates/neighbours!

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Life

… is being as funny as it is.

Its so weird how people you can never relate to, yet were and are still around you and suddenly become a part of your life.

Just feeling its so… I don’t know. But now in the circle I have drawn, comes in some people who have always been around me but I never took notice. Still, glad they are in the circle now.

I wonder since when I dare to admit to drawing that circle. Hmm… I think its not being able to admit or not. Just the fact that I do not choose my friends, I just choose who can come into my circle. Being friends with me does not mean you are in my circle. But not being in my circle does not mean you are not my friend.

Am I confusing you all? Nevermind. It is just that I still think giving everyone a clean mark sheet and not being judgmental is a good thing. I still get hurt thereafter if I find out more about them. But this also let me know who can be in my circle or whether I can survive in their circle and make a new subset out of the two circles.

Life is as complicated as always. This weekend I feel at ease. Most probably because I finished off my work. I did not sleep for more than 40 hours I guess o.O Salute to me! xP

I totally dozed off at the end of the other day. I am still recovering from the lethargy. Ha! I could have handed in the genetics report late or approach Dr Siow to postpone my presentation. But then I decided to do well for presentation and hand up a crappy work for genetics. Hope I did not do too bad. I forgot to write my conclusion =(

Presentation was alright. No, I did not take any pictures. Am already too nervous. But I am very happy so many people made it to my presentation. I wanted them to go so much initially, but at the end, I felt too nervous and started to feel shy. YEAH, SHY! So not me! HAHAHA

Khoo did not make it as he went for lunch with his mom. Erik did not make it too. Mun Keat had class. Yan Wan had meeting. Others have things to do. Really thanks to those who made it ❤ I know they had to rush the genetics report. Yet, they made it there and sat through my presentation. I am really grateful and happy…

So who was there? *trying hard to store memories* Dr Siow, Dr Juan, Prof Lim, Dr Choo – Dr Siow is the unit coordinator, Dr Juan is my supervisor and the other two are my examiners. =) Dr Choo said my name is so similar to my supervisor’s and told me not to tell Dr Juan =.= yeah, he is my papa Juan ma!

And Dr Choo also told me when it was Shanq Yeet’s presentation, it was so hard to even find Dr Juan. Had to call him countless time to locate him! LOL. So should I be happy Dr Juan made it there early? (Yeah, he is always late =.=) Ok, understandable lah since he stays in Masjid Jamek. oh and early in the morning, he sms-ed me to ask me to relax, with good luck too =)

The seniors and friends who were there: Shanq Yeet, Seong Hoong, Yee Meng, Patric, Michelle Tan, Jasmine Cheah, Jasmine Foo, Ming Xuan, Von Yi, Wen Hao, Chee Sian, Joshua Tan, Yen Ming, Ying Xuan, JJ, Hayden, Tee Yee, Zen-Xern and don’t know who else…

I missed out some I suppose, but thanks a lot everyone. Especially those who specially stayed back as there were no more classes! I am so glad its over but there is one which is graded coming o.O Although it was a hurdle, I felt the need to give my best. But still I did not prepare well enough! Luckily I know how to answer all questions except the last one from Prof Lim. I was not confident enough to say the answer loud though I did say it. LOL. I was half correct anyway xD

I do not know if the next one would be better! HAHA… hope so! =D and and and… really must thank Seong Hoong, Erik and Patric a lot. Seong Hoong for correcting my essay and lit review. Erik and Patric in helping me with my presentation. Feels so nice about being in a good supportive environment. Where its not so stressful and competitive. Things are nice just like this. I do not hate being with competitive people, just I do not understand why people cannot just do their best and not compare…

Alright, I think I should stop here! Too much to read eh? Thanks for reading till here then 😉 <3<3<3

Counting blessings,

The one who is truly blessed.

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Yet again

This is a ranting post.

My experiment failed yet again yesterday. The first time it failed, I took two days off. And I end up working in the lab during the weekend TT I was damn scared because I found out it was ghost festival (say whatever you want to) and Seong Hoong had to scare me TT

I dislike being alone in the floor. As in, with no one I know or can talk to, being around me. I do not need someone to be in the same room as me. I just need to know if anything happen, if I am scared, if I am in trouble, there is someone I can talk to, rant to or find solace in. I am such a kid.

So yesterday, I spent a full day in lab and my experiments did not go well. In the middle of the day, I know it won’t be good already. I had to rush two reports too then; preliminary report and the literature review. Well, I finished it well beforehand but then there were changes/advise from seniors and hence the very last minute thing. But, thanks to Seong Hoong for the help too.

I also had to screw up the standard preparation. End up I threw away a lot of solvent. I hope papa Juan do not come questioning why the solvent diminished so fast!!! I was holding some hope that the GC was being moody. And when I run the second analysis, it might be good. Yeah, I was just lying to myself. =(

Oh well, I changed plans again to have papa Juan change my finalised plans 5am!!! I wonder if he does sleep =.= freaking five in the morning =.= Nevermind. I come back to lab and told them about the change and it ruined their experiment plans too. All hail papa Juan! =S

SIGHHH… lab rant over… Now, thanks to everyone who gave me a lift to and fro home. Really appreciate that. And the food! Thanks so much. Felt so warm and nice. Although away from home, there is still care 😉 I know they know I complain so much about my leg and hence the free rides. But I would only want it if the time is suitable for them. I would feel very guilty if its the long wait they have to go through to give me the free rides. Anyway, deepest gratitude =)

Very blessed indeed,

The one who is born blessed 😉

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Selamat Malam

Salam bahagia. I was back from uni just not long ago. Been a long long day TT

First of all… the experiment took so long. Darn. The pretreatment sounded easy and I even went half an hour earlier, just in case. Or even better if I can get it done earlier. Its SUNDAY if you have not realised yet! ><

Guess what? The oil was so viscous that I spent THREE AND A HALF HOURS filtering them =.= I could have ruined everything due to the impatience! Well, I nearly did =.=

Well, maybe I did… the answer will be 100% known tomorrow. Will be in lab the whole day again. GC analysis! Hope the result is a good one! 😉 Dr Tham was complained because of her attitude. And also for the fact that she said she would deduct our marks as we got the lab demos to run the spectrophotometer! But she related that to class (well, indirectly) about NOT giving us BONUS marks if we have no pellet because in reality, RESULTS MATTER. And now, I tell you, results really matter. And it is NOT just any results. It is POSITIVE results. Or rather, RESULTS THAT YOU WANT TO SEE!

Oh well, I agree with her on this point only. FULLSTOP. But her attitude changed slightly. She is a tad bit more nicer now. However, this does not change my mind yet on how rude she can be! =S

Whatever lah! I am tired now. Got more works to do. I think I shall sleep. BUT I CAN’T. There is like things waiting, queuing up there for me to complete. Dr Juan is the kind who dislikes last minute work. So he made me do my prelim report. Good that I got 70% done but 30% means a lot too ><

Talking about papa Juan! I sms-ed him today reminding him that I would need to run GC. Hope he does not forget. I know for sure he is going to be late for about an hour anyway! SIGH. So I told him 9am, but in fact, 9 to 10am, I will be discussing things with Chee Sian, Von Yi, Hayden, Sze Nee and possibly Michelle and others xP Shhhhh! Papa Juan shall not know! xP Its Monday, bet he comes only at 10.30am!

And I will be early in lab again to clean up the things and prepare internal standards too. I forgot to wash the flask before coming back. Argh! Hope it dries quick tomorrow. Cannot put into oven for that or it loses its calibration!

And without realising, this post is full of lab rants. I am so sorry! The promised posts would come. They will… I assure you! xD

Till then,

The one who is choosing between rest and work! =S

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