Archive for October, 2010

Sometimes…

Things just should not reciprocate.

I could not take the tantrums people throw at me without apparent reason. Well, if you want to show how annoyed, irritated, frustrated or angry you are at a person/thing, you should make it clear what is the source, RIGHT?

Well, you do not feel like talking when it just happened. Alright. Reasonable. I do that too to avoid ugly regretful words coming out. But it is more than just a day or so! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I was sad and really down. Probably you are not even worth my tears. But, whatever, you can have it your way. Because I will stand stronger!

On a totally unrelated point, I just wonder what privacy is now. I talk/tell a lot but how sure are you that is everything that is happening? There are more layers to everything. I decided to keep those layers without making it obvious only. SO? Is that not my right?

Just because of a mistake of mine, it does not mean you can show everyone something that relates so closely to what I was thinking. Are you out of your mind?! I do not know. Maybe I was out of my mind.

I think I should start to ignore what people say/do. Mind my own business and stop offering a helping hand. Stop whatever and just lock my mind and heart to revising! Probably I shall not continue to subscribe to my broadband and hence no internet. And… just solely revision. It is my last try eh?

Well, I shall see what is the final decision for the summer plans. Hopefully the answer comes tomorrow! And I shall not fret. I think I am ready to face my future bravely!

Staying brave,

The one who lost her mind.

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Just cause…

Just cause I am afraid, I am reluctant;

Just cause I am reluctant, I missed out;

Just cause I missed out, I live in denial about not having regrets;

Just cause I think I have no regrets, I never learn to grasp chances;

Just cause I never hold on to chances, I never really lived life;

Just cause I never really lived life, I never know how big a dream can be.

STUPID MUCH?

 

Learning to dream,

The one who is learning to live truly!

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女人要记住亦舒的75句话

1、真正有气质的淑女,从不炫耀她所拥有的一切,她不告诉人她读过什么书,去过什么地方,有多少件衣服,买过什么珠宝,因为她没有自卑感。——《圆舞》

2、如此情深,却难以启齿。原来你若真爱一个人,内心酸涩,反而会说不出话来,甜言蜜语,多数说给不相干的人听。——《她的二三事》

3、能够说出的委屈,便不算委屈;能够抢走的爱人,便不算爱人。——《开到荼蘼》

4、爱得不够,才借口多多。——《紫薇愿》

5、最佳的报复不是仇恨,而是打心底发出的冷淡,干嘛花力气去恨一个不相干的人——《我的前半生》

6、无论多豪华的婚礼都不代表幸福婚姻,两个人终生相处和睦与否和筵开几席、多少首饰全无关联。——《小紫荆》

7、无论做什么,记得为自己而做,那就毫无怨言——《流金岁月》

8、如果爱一个人,千万不要与他同居或是结婚。维持一个辽阔的距离,偶遇,可以爱慕的目光致敬,轻俏温柔,不着边际地问:"好吗?"一年一次已经足够。——《绝对是个梦》

9、结婚与恋爱毫无关系,人们老以为恋爱成熟后便自然而然的结婚,却不知结婚只是一种生活方式,人人可以结婚,简单得很。爱情……完全是另外一回事。——《我的前半生》

10、两个人的适配是一种内心感觉,而不是一种视觉,千万不要因满足视觉而忽视内心感觉。——《花常好月常圆人长久》

11、能够哭就好,哭是开始痊愈的象征。——《绝对是个梦》

12、我的归宿就是健康与才干,一个人终究可以信赖的,不过是他自己,能够为他扬眉吐气的也是他自己,我要什么归宿?我已找回我自己,我就是我的归宿。——《胭脂》

13、要生活得漂亮,需要付出极大忍耐,一不抱怨,二不解释,绝对是个人才。——《变形记》

14、凡事想别人感激,那是必然要失望的。——《故园》

15、我也想清楚了,婚姻根本就是那么一回事,再恋爱得轰动,三五年之后,也就烟消云散,下班后大家扭开电视一齐看长篇连续剧,人生是这样的。——《独身女人》

16、无论怎么样,一个人借故堕落总是不值得原谅的,越是没有人爱,越要爱自己。——《星之碎片》

17、做一个女人要做得像一副画,不要做一件衣裳,被男人试完了又试,却没人买,试残了旧了,五折抛售还有困难。——《喜宝》

18、若要生活愉快非得把自己先踩成一块地毯不可,否则总有人来替天行道,挫你的锐气,与其待别人动手,不如自己先打嘴巴,总之将本身毁谤得一钱不值,别人的气也就平了,也不妒忌了——《我的前半生》

19、人为感情烦恼永远是不值得原谅的,感情是奢侈品,有些人一辈子也没有恋爱过。恋爱与瓶花一样,不能保持永久生命。——《城市故事》

20、生命像流水,这些不快的事总要过去,如果注定一辈子要这么过,再不开心也没有用。——《女人三十》

21、穷是一种心态,你若一辈子坚持自己是穷人,拥有大量金钱也救不了你。——《邻室的音乐》

22、生命从来不是公平的,得到多少,便要靠那个多少做到最好,努力的生活下去。——《我们不是天使》

23、已去之事不可留,已逝之情不可恋,能留能恋,就没有今天。——《花常好月常圆人长久》

24、“你大概误会大学文凭是世界之匙,开启顺风顺水之门,这并不正确。读书目的是进修学问,拓阔胸襟。人生所有烦恼会不多不少永远追随,只不过学识涵养可以使一个人更加理智冷静地分析处理这些难题而已。” ——《花常好月常圆人长久》

25、幸运者做猪不幸者做人,我是个幸运的不幸者,起码我睡的象猪。——《天若有情》

26、这是一个高度竞争的社会,没有资格走的人最好不要走,否则要回头这个位置已经被人占去,再也没有空隙,闲时闹意气,一点用处也没有。——《曾经深爱过》

27、行乐及时,上天给你什么,就享受什么。千万不要去听难堪的话,一定不去见难看的人。或者是做难做的事情,爱上不应爱的人。——《电光幻影》

28、生活中无论有什么闪失,统统是自己的错,与人无尤,从错处学习改过,精益求精,直至不犯同一错误,从不把过失推诿到他人肩膀上去,免得失去学乖的机会。——《阿修罗》

29、现今还有谁会照顾谁一辈子,那是多沉重的一个包袱。所以非自立不可。——《不易居》

30、真正的才华如火焰般难以收藏,总会燎原。——《曾经深爱过》

31、朋友有什么义务替他保守秘密?他不想人知,就不要说,你不让他说,他才会心痒而死,所以做朋友的借出耳朵已经仁至义尽,其他的,管他呢!——《琴批》

32、人一定要受过伤才会沉默专注,无论是心灵或肉体上的创伤,对成长都有益处。——《花解语》

33、一个成熟的人往往发觉可以责怪的人越来越少,人人都有他的难处。——《我们不是天使》

34、失去的东西,其实从来未曾真正地属于你,也不必惋惜。——《玫瑰的故事》

35、何必向不值得的人证明什么,生活得更好,乃是为你自己。——《忽而今夏》

36、两个人在一起生活,岂是一项艺术,简直是修万里长城,艰苦的工程。——《玫瑰的故事》

37、有能力的人影响别人,没能力的一群受人影响。——《喜宝》

38、麻烦来找你,你才去应付它,如不,任它沉睡——《花解语》

39、我要很多很多的爱。如果没有爱,那么就很多很多的钱,如果两件都没有,有健康也是好的。——《喜宝》

40、聪明人,无谓争意气。——《连环》

41、做人要含蓄点,得过且过,不必斤斤计较,水清无鱼,人清无徒,谁又不跟谁一辈子,一些事放在心中算了。——《蔷薇泡沫》

43、在黑暗里,取出杯子,喝干了酒,千头万绪,恨事那么多,不知道挑哪一宗来咬牙切齿才好,索性全抛在脑后,安静睡觉。——《忽尔今夏》

44、我提着一个袋子,边走边拾。一路上拾起无数我不想要的东西。当我遇到我真正想要的东西之时,袋子已经装满了。——《印度墨》

45、一个人走不开,不过因为他不想走开;一个人失约,乃因他不想赴约,一切借口均属废话,都是用以掩饰不愿牺牲。——《一千零一妙方》

46、人们不解释的主要原因是根本不在乎对方的想法,无关重要的人,对无关重要的事有点儿误会,有什么关系,你信也好,不信也好,都于当事人生活毫无影响,何劳解释。——《阿修罗》

48、爱一个人决不潇洒,为自己留了后步的,也就不是爱——《星之碎片》

49、我喜欢向没有知识但是聪明的人学习,他们那一套不讲理、原始,令人难堪,但往往行得通。受过教育的女人事事讲风度,连唯一的武器都失掉,任由社会宰割。——《玉梨魂》

50、答通常吸引男人的是这种冷漠,但是男人终于娶的是仰慕他的女人,没才干的女人靠嫁人过活,有本事的女人靠自己过活——《城市故事》

51、男人!当你要求一个女人像女人的时候,问问你自己有几成像男人!——《城市故事》

52、如花美眷,也敌不过似水流年。——《风信子》

53、人生短短数十载,最要紧是满足自己,不是讨好他人。——《美丽新世界》

54、人们往往只相信他们愿意相信的事——《旧欢如梦》

55、世上没有免费午餐,无论什么,总得付出代价。——《花解语》

56、十年寒窗,十年苦干,再加上十足十的运气,才能有一份事业,你别把事情看得太容易,大多数人只能有一份职业,借之糊口,辛劳一生,有多少人敢说他的工作是事业?——《圆舞》

57、在金钱与爱情面前卖弄自尊,是最愚蠢的事。——《我的前半生》

58、人是那样复杂的一种动物,想了解对方根本是不可能的一件事,没有了解,又不能相处,倒不如独身。——《美娇袅》

59、社会只爱健康的聪明的,肯拼命的人,谁耐心跟谁婆婆妈妈,生活中一切都变成公事,互相利用,至于世态炎凉,人情淡薄,统统是正常的。——《小学同学》

60、做不到是你自己的事,午夜梦回,你爱怎么回味就怎么回味,但人前人后,我要你装出什么都没有发生过的样子。你可以的,我们都可以,人都是这般活下来的。——《叹息桥》

61、一生不知要捱多少批斗:力争上游是不自量力,精打细算变为太工心计,保护自身即是自私自利,简直做什么错什么,被欺压得退往墙角,不外是因为无人撑腰。——《黑羊》

62、你要改是因为你自己愿意改,不要为任何人,怕只怕那人会令你失望,你又得打回原形。——《不易居》

63、一代不如一代,一代比一代辛苦,这一代最辛苦的是已经认为辛苦是理所当然的一件事。——《假梦真泪》

64、许多人并不相爱,却可以相处一辈子,爱是非常容易令人厌倦的。——《妈妈》

65、一个人要超越他的环境及出身,进步是不够的,非要进化不可,那样大业,岂能人人做到。——《风满楼》

66、一生像似太长,却又太短,待搞清楚有何心愿,二十一年已经过去,那么四十岁之前若不匆匆把所有该做或不该做之事做妥,之后也无甚作为,所以人人不够时间——《红尘》

67、有得有失,才是人生,切忌忿忿不平。——《天上所有的星》

68、哭要一个人躲着哭,笑呢全世界陪你笑——《爱情之死》

69、人际关系这一门科学永远没有学成毕业的一日,每天都似投身于砂石中,缓缓磨动,皮破血流之余所积得的宝贵经验便是一般人口中的圆滑。——《我的前半生》

70、骗一个人,要费好大的劲,不在乎她又如何肯骗她,所以将来有人苦苦蒙骗你,千万不要拆穿他。——《忽尔今夏》

71、自由社会,自由选择,要笑得出才能笑,否则,笑比哭还难看,也不必勉强。——《艳阳天》

72、也许一个人在真正无可奈何的时候,除了微笑,也只好微笑了。——《家明与玫瑰》

73、做人凡事要静;静静地来,静静地去,静静努力,静静收获,切忌喧哗。——《直至海枯石烂》

74、人其实很难真正自由,锁住人的,往往是那人自己。不知不觉,我们不是做了感情的奴隶,就是事业的婢仆。——《连环》

75、蛋糕非常香,咖啡十分甜,这里又没有地震,活着真好。——《承欢记》

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踮起腳尖,我們就能離幸福更近一點嗎?

1、有些事,我們明知道是錯的,也要去堅持,因為不甘心;有些人,我們明知道是愛的,也要去放棄,因為沒結局;有時候,我們明知道沒路了,卻還在前行,因為習慣了。  

2、以為蒙上了眼睛,就可以看不見這個世界;以為摀住了耳朵,就可以聽不到所有的煩惱;以為腳步停了下來,心就可以不再遠行;以為我需要的愛情,只是一個擁抱。    

3、那些已經犯過的錯誤,有一些是因為來不及,有一些是因為刻意躲避,更多的時候是茫然地站到了一邊。我們就這樣錯了一次又一次,卻從不曉得從中汲取教訓,做一些反省。  

4、你不知道我在想你,是因為你不愛我,我明明知道你不想我,卻還愛你,是因為我太傻。也許有時候,逃避不是因為害怕去面對什麼,而是在等待什麼。  

5、天空沒有翅膀的痕跡,但鳥兒已經飛過;心裡沒有被刀子割過,但疼痛卻那麼清晰。這些胸口裡最柔軟的地方,被愛人傷害過的傷口,遠比那些肢體所受的傷害來得犀利,而且只有時間,才能夠治愈。  

6、很多人,因為寂寞而錯愛了一人,但更多的人,因為錯愛一人,而寂寞一生。我們可以彼此相愛,卻注定了無法相守。不是我不夠愛你,只是我不敢肯定,這愛,是不是最正確的。  

7、如果背叛是一種勇氣,那麼接受背叛則需要一種更大的勇氣。前者只需要有足夠的勇敢就可以,又或許只是一時衝動,而後者考驗的卻是寬容的程度,絕非衝動那麼簡單,需要的唯有時間。  

8、生命無法用來證明愛情,就像我們無法證明自己可以不再相信愛情。在這個城市裡,誠如勞力士是物質的奢侈品,愛情則是精神上的奢侈品。可是生命脆弱無比,根本沒辦法承受那麼多的奢侈。  

9、人最大的困難是認識自己,最容易的也是認識自己。很多時候,我們認不清自己,只因為我們把自己放在了一個錯誤的位置,給了自己一個錯覺。所以,不怕前路坎坷,只怕從一開始就走錯了方向。  

10、生活在一個城市裡,或者愛一個人,又或者做某件事,時間久了,就會覺得厭倦,就會有一種想要逃離的衝動。也許不是厭倦了這個城市、愛的人、堅持的事,只是給不了自己堅持下去的勇氣。  

11、多少次又多少次,回憶把生活劃成一個圈,而我們在原地轉了無數次,無法解脫。總是希望回到最初相識的地點,如果能夠再一次選擇的話,以為可以愛得更單純。

12、如果你明明知道這個故事的結局,你或者選擇說出來,或者裝作不知道,萬不要欲言又止。有時候留給別人的傷害,選擇沉默比選擇坦白要痛多了。  

13. 如果以後你會不經意地想起我,請別忘記我曾那樣深深地愛過你……  

14. 踮起腳尖,我們就能離幸福更近一點嗎?  

15.我真的喜歡你,閉上眼,以為我能忘記,但流下的眼淚,卻沒有騙到自己。  

16.親愛的,出去玩累了、受傷了的話就回來吧,我還在這裡等你……  

17.當你眼淚忍不住要流出來的時候,睜大眼睛,千萬別眨眼!你會看到世界由清晰變模糊的全過程,心會在你淚水落下的那一刻變得清澈明晰……   

18.人生就像一場舞會,教會你最初舞步的人卻未必能陪你走到散場……  

19.不愛的愛情,永遠不會變壞。所以,我們調情,我們曖昧,卻永遠不要相愛。  

20.其實我是一直相信的,我根本不需要想起什麼,因為我從來沒有忘記過。  

21.最浪漫的三個字不是“我愛你”,而是“在一起”。  

22.不要輕易說愛,許下的諾言就是欠下的債。  

23.分手後不可以做朋友,因為彼此傷害過,不可以做敵人,因為彼此深愛過,所以我們變成了最熟悉的陌生人……  

24我放下尊嚴,放下了個性,放下了固執,都是因為放不下你……  

25.那些曾經以為念念不忘的事情就在我們念念不忘的過程裡,被我們遺忘了。  

26.寂寞的人總是會用心的記住他生命中出現過的每一個人,於是我總是意猶未盡地想起你在每個星光隕落的晚上一遍一遍數我的寂寞。

27.我生命裡的溫暖就那麼多,我全部給了你,但是你離開了我,你叫我以後怎麼再對別人笑……  

28.躲在某一時間,想念一段時光的掌紋;躲在某一地點,想念一個站在來路也站在去路的,讓我牽掛的人。  

29.有些人會一直刻在記憶裡的,即使忘記了他的聲音,忘記了他的笑容,忘記了他的臉,但是每當想起他時的那種感受,是永遠都不會改變的。  

30.那些以前說著永不分離的人,早已經散落在天涯了。  

31.你永遠也看不到我最寂寞時候的樣子,因為只有你不在我身邊的時候,我才最寂寞。  

32.記憶想是倒在掌心的水不論你攤開還是緊握終究還是會從指縫中一滴一滴流淌乾淨。  

33.傷口就像我一樣,是個倔強的孩子,不肯癒合,因為內心是溫暖潮濕的地方,適合任何東西生長。  

34.這世上最累的事情,莫過於眼睜睜看著自己的心碎了,還得自己動手把它粘起來。  

35.如果有一天我們在路上重逢,而我告訴你:“我現在很幸福。”我一定是偽裝的如果只能夠跟你重逢,而不是共同生活,那怎麼會幸福呢?告訴你我很幸福,只是不想讓你知道我其實 很傷心。  

36.離別與重逢,是人生不停上演的戲,習慣了,也就不再悲愴。  

37.我們在錯誤的時間相遇,在正確的時間卻又分開……

 

Something that I can relate to/understand…

The one who is learning to cherish ❤

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The life of an owl

I guess I have always been a nocturnal animal anyway…

Some updates this late night. Or should I say… early morning?! LOL

(1) Life is still good. It is hectic but not so anymore. Now I just have to rush my thesis and reports. And also to revise well for my exams. Last semester. I shall thrive! xP

(2) I have been enjoying good company from both Patric and Seong Hoong. You know? Just silent company at times. Ok, not silent. How can I stand not talking?! LOL But it is really nice having people around who can let you do your work while they do theirs. At certain times, talk a little or so and then continue.

(3) I never had any elder brothers. Well, Robin and Bernie are. Just they are in Canada and we don’t talk no more. They always say they would be back but they postpone it constantly. Speaking of them, I do miss Uncle David a lot still. He is fine with the angels. Must be. Patric and Seong Hoong… the stereotypical brothers I have in mind.

(4) I was once angry, sad and frustrated for people say I am too close to Seong Hoong. I am not exactly too close. I am thankful for his words (whether wise or jokes) to let me understand what others say might not mean anything. The others could have been close to him too if they chose to so (as I paraphrase what he said). I never chose to be close to him but it was fate to be in the same lab I guess. I think I will miss pestering him and Patric a lot. This may sound weird, but I think I will miss the “bullying” times too. Of course, they bully me! Not the other way round! LOL

(5) As usual, I am afraid of darkness and ghostly sounds. Maybe it is time to learn not to. I still won’t talk when it comes to ordering (unless I am really forced to). Maybe I should learn too. This is life of a scaredy cat! TSK! One day, I will be fully independent =D

(6) Recently I am contemplating getting a smartphone. Not like I never did before but just then I had the Nokia Music Express 5800. I thought that was sufficient. Then I wanted Blackberry or HTC. Yet, when I get my hands on Seong Hoong’s iPhone 4, I think iPhone would be better than the aforementioned. THE ENDLESS APPLICATIONS! Ohhhh myyyyy! But now is not the time to get it. I would totally not study for exams! LOL

(7) I procrastinate a lot. This is a no-no! I should try to not sleep for the whole of tomorrow and get my Plant Biotech report done AND also my thesis draft! HELP ME! But if I get too quiet or lonely, I would be sleepy! WTH!?

(8) I think tomorrow I have to hide somewhere too like Seong Hoong just so I can let myself be away from distractions. ok, like the internet is not a distraction?! HAIH! I MUST BE DISCIPLINED (never happens) ><

(9) Considering going to Thailand now with the parents and grandmother. Should I?! My dad’s friend going too. Having to layan uncles/aunties do not sound like a good holiday LOL. Ok, probably I won’t even be interested in what they are seeing too. Gahhh… reconsider!

(10) I should be using this time to write my thesis draft rather than blogging. Oh well, blog therapy. I am not sad or angry. Just I felt I need to express something out. I am afraid I will miss my life in labs and with that two “brothers” of mine.

Life is full of phases,

The one who is cherishing her good moments. =D

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Bench works =D

Yesterday marked the official ending of my bench works. No, it does not mean the end of the labs xD I wonder when I need to clear all the bottles of stuff. But I shall be hardworking and get my thesis written and also complete the last two reports of my undergraduate life xD

It is tiring alright but I will pull through. Exams are in less than a month’s time and I still do not feel the pressure. Hope I will be able to study well enough. Six more things to go; two reports, one thesis, one poster and two exams! And this should mark the end of my undergraduate life 😉

While I am on all these, I do not mind to keep helping Seong Hoong and Patric. They have been fun company in the lab and also for lunch/dinner. And keeping me away from the scary eerieness of the lab! =) I will certainly miss them! (I think LOL)

We have yet to celebrate. Yesterday, each of us has a cause to celebrate but did not ><

Happiness,

The one who is truly blessed ❤

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The MIA Times

Hello everyone =D Been MIA. It is really quite a long time this time. ><

Not really busy with experiments. Just tired daily. Not totally due to experiments and the work. I have been watching a lot of dramas too. Unhealthy investment! HAHA

But I guess after such long periods of hardwork, letting my hair down for a bit is nothing bad. From tomorrow onwards, the internet would be cut off in the labs. So I guess more people will meet in the honours room. And after filtering my things, I would perhaps camp in the honours room to write up my thesis. And also my report for GEN3040 ><

Maybe I shall focus on doing my thesis first and send into Dr Juan (again) ASAP and then get going with my GEN3040 report. That is a one helluva report too! >< Very demanding of us!

But I guess I will pull through! Other than those, I have been enjoying life a lot. Spending lots of time with Patric and Seong Hoong. Its just like I suddenly have two elder brothers. I guess after this degree I will miss them too (other than those whom I always hang out with too)

Hmmm… another one more month and it is the end of my degree! I felt like job hunting straightaway so I could earn money and start travelling ASAP. Or probably I should just rot at home (back in Brunei)! HAHA

Ok, most probably I would want to do something fun or productive (which includes travelling). Or perhaps I should consider working part-time somewhere unrelated to what I study? Or perhaps related to what I study? That extra money might earn me a new smart phone (that is IF I could not get the family to buy xP) Hmm… many things to ponder about. OR PERHAPS I SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT MY WORKLOAD NOW AND ALSO TO REVISE? =.=

Wish me luck,

The one who is enjoying life a lot, making the best out of everything =D

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