Archive for January, 2012

Of minds and thoughts

Loads of things running through my mind. Do not know where to start to put them down.

I think I am quite troubled recently that I turned to blogging so often.

No matter what, I must start somewhere to get some thoughts off my mind.

1. I am appalled at how some can pull of a story and affect others so strongly. I find it kind of scary actually. How one can actually spin a web of tales and believe in their own words so strongly that they can make others believe them too. Well, maybe it is not wholly made up story but the bits and pieces are good enough.

2. I still cannot tolerate being all pretentious around people. No matter how hard I tried. People might misinterpret that as I am just being sour over the fact that she is the girlfriend of a friend of mine. Seriously, I am not. It just feels so scary… and awkward =( But now I wonder, if that is the fault of my friend or the fact that she herself is already a person full of tricks.

3. I felt pressurized and very much affected at this point in time. I do not know why but I just kept feeling a friend of mine is trying to rush things. Making friends and getting to know someone take time… loads of time. But this friend of mine gave me a feeling that he wants to just know everything about me instantly. I thought trust is something worthy to be earned? Not to mention, I think he knows wayyy loads more stuff about me than Jeremy does. And I already told Jeremy so much more. I just cannot understand why this rush?

There are more but all interwoven together,

The one who is quite lost and holds on to loose faith.

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Of fragility and heart

You know how something was yours and you never pay much attention to it?

Or rather, someone that cared for you and always been around for you.

Just one fine day, you realised that this is no more the case. 

How would you feel?

Heart is starting to shatter,

The one who is affected.

 

P.S. I will be better in no time =(

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Of experiments and construction

image

Construction still going on. I am wondering if they are trying to join the reseach lab to the energy building. Hmmm

Experiment is still going on in the other lab. One week. but i won’t be in to check. Hope nothing is going to go wrong.

Please spare me,
The one who is wishing for more than just miracles.

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行到水穷处,坐看云起时

http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/18955658.html

终南别业---王维

中岁颇好道, 晚家南山陲。

兴来美独往, 胜事空自知。

行到水穷处, 坐看云起时。

偶然值林叟, 谈笑无还期。

王 维 的 诗 与 画 极 富 禅 机 禅 意 , 文 学 史 上 尊 他 为 「 诗 佛 」。 他 的 两 句 话 「 行 到 水 穷 处 , 坐 看 云 起 时 」, 「 水 穷 处 」指 的 是 什 么 ? 登 山 时 溯 流 而 上 , 走 到 最 后 溪 流 不 见 了 。 有 一 个 可 能 是 该 处 为 山 泉 的 发 源 地 , 掩 于 地 表 之 下 。 另 一 个 可 能 是 下 雨 之 后 汇 集 而 成 的 涧 水 在 此 地 干 枯 了 。 这 个 登 山 者 走 著 走 著 , 走 到 水 不 见 了 , 索 性 坐 下 来 , 看 见 山 岭 上 云 朵 涌 起 。 原 来 水 上 了 天 了 , 变 成 了 云 , 云 又 可 以 变 成 雨 , 到 时 山 涧 又 会 有 水 了 , 何 必 绝 望 ?

人 生 境 界 也 是 如 此 。 在 生 命 过 程 中 , 不 论 经 营 爱 情 、 事 业 、 学 问 等 , 勇 往 直 前 , 后 来 竟 发 现 是 一 条 没 法 走 的 绝 路 , 山 穷 水 尽 的 悲 哀 失 落 难 免 出 现 。 此 时 不 防 往 旁 边 或 回 头 看 , 也 许 有 别 的 路 通 往 别 处 ; 即 使 根 本 没 路 可 走 , 往 天 空 看 吧 !虽 然 身 体 在 绝 境 中 , 但 是 心 灵 还 可 以 畅 游 太 空 , 自 在 、 愉 快 地 欣 赏 大 自 然 , 体 会 宽 广 深 远 的 人 生 境 界 , 不 觉 得 自 己 穷 途 末 路 。

「 行 到 水 穷 处 , 坐 看 云 起 时 」有 两 种 境 界 在 其 中 。 第 一 种 , 处 绝 境 时 不 要 失 望 , 因 为 那 正 是 希 望 的 开 始 ; 山 里 的 水 是 因 雨 而 有 的 , 有 云 起 来 就 表 示 水 快 来 了 。 另 一 种 境 界 是 , 即 使 现 在 不 下 雨 也 没 关 系 , 总 有 一 天 会 下 雨 。

从 水 穷 到 云 起 到 下 雨 的 过 程 , 正 如 一 个 人 在 修 行 过 程 中 遇 到 很 大 的 困 难 , 有 身 体 的 障 碍 , 有 心 理 的 障 碍 , 还 有 环 境 的 障 碍 。 如 果 因 此 而 退 心 , 要 把 念 头 回 到 初 发 心 的 观 点 上 。 初 发 心 就 是 初 发 菩 提 心 的 时 候 。 初 发 心 时 什 么 也 没 有 , 对 修 行 的 方 法 、 观 念 都 不 了 解 。 你 先 回 溯 当 时 的 情 形 再 看 看 目 前 , 不 是 已 经 走 了 相 当 长 的 路 了 吗 ? 所 以 不 要 失 望 , 不 要 放 弃 。 人 生 的 每 个 阶 段 也 都 可 能 发 生 这 种 状 况 , 如 果 用 这 种 诗 境 来 看 待 , 处 处 会 有 活 路 的 。

No everlasting despair,
The one who is ever optimistic.

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Of Facebook and Privacy

Suddenly, I have this thought pop into my mind again.

Yes, again.

I think I used a bit too much of the FB. Especially after getting the new phone.

I guess the time has come again for this reflection and to stop FB-ing excessively.

This is also to protect oneself right?

Practising self-control,

The one who needs to protect ownself!

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Of supervisors and publications

They once told me that for initial projects/research works, the topic is not the first priority. It is your SUPERVISOR.

I thought I had an average supervisor. OK OK, above average as he will come help me with cleaning and arranging of the glasswares and lab apparatus.

Anyway, after the research project, we were supposed to come up with a paper and get some publication. However, after more than a year, nothing came through. Even after a few emails to him. So I thought he couldn’t care less.

My now supervisor actually drafted a paper and is going to send the first draft in. It was a Tier 3 paper and I do not know what does it mean. I wanted to question him but it was off office hours and he dislike people calling him for something unimportant. Being an Acting Dean of Graduate Research Studies now, I think he is actually more busy.

Anyway how, I do not know who to turn to. Hence I called Dr Juan to ask him. He did not pick up. So I turn to the power of FB! Tse Yuen answered me =D But I was so surprised that Dr Juan just called me! HEHE. He called a few times. I did not want to pick it up since I already knew what it was. But he called again so I figured I should just pick it up and send him some greetings. We had a short conversation with him assuring me having a paper publish is good enough. Do not care about the tiers first! And he kept on praising me, having been able to make new crystals. He was over the moon! HAHA…

He told me how not everyone can come out with new crystals. Not only technique, but also luck plays a large role. I must have been one hell of a lucky girl ❤ His encouragement gave me more confidence. Taking his advice, I think I should finish my Masters, rather than thinking about going overseas to do an honours degree. Hmm… hope this thought stays in my brain! HAHA ❤

Wish he will find the time and come through with that initial paper publication for me,

The one who is extremely elated! =D

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Of courage, love and relationships

Of courage…Of love…Of relationships…And sometimes this is just so true…And how important is that important?

Time never waits,

The one who is passive after what happened.

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