Archive for April, 2012

Of timing

Isn’t it a bit too late now? After deciding and voicing out the fact that i want to resign,  then there comes real job for me to handle. Prior to this, i had nothing to do for two weeks. After that two weeks,  i was just cleaning up some power point slides. Up till now. So easy to earn my wage lol

Too bad i am not used to sitting there and doing nothing kind of job. I love challenges,  despite how weak i can be. I think i am quite resolute in resigning. Letter will be in by the end of this month.

For better emotional health,  health health overall (really hope my skin will be better and thus my joints), and of course, my education. Not having any Saturdays off work will certainly be a no no! hehe

Wish me good luck,
The one who is braving into her future.

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Of the F word and U =D

Image

Just because I am happy,

The one who is doing irrational ranting!

 

P.s. Please do not be mistaken. The previous post and this post have no relevance =D HEHE

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Of age and childishness

Was I away a bit too long? I forgot when and what my last post was about =P

Anyway how… today’s topic revolves around a guy in his early 40’s (I guess)…

He is one of my managers, I would say the least in power of the three main ones. He has been trying to give me silent treatment. Well, not trying. He succeeded. He totally thinks that I am invisible. I used to get good morning’s from him. He was early… erm well, still early. Just I changed. I do not come as early anymore and this is for a reason (of course!)

I now work Saturdays. And so,  I do not have to come to work early or stay till late like I used to. What happened to my studies? Hmm.. that will be for another post! But no worries, I am still on it. Hehe… I will tell you more about it when I win the lottery =P

YUP! Exactly, I bought a lottery. Well, maybe half a lottery. Hope I win both halves =)

Ohh… did I digress? Pardon me! Sigh.. being sick is no fun. This blog should revolves around me anyway =P HAHA OK, back to him, for his age and his actions… simply childish. But I wonder who is better in the act! HEHEHE

On a serious note, I think it is true that wisdom doesn’t really come with age. Point in case! He should have used his sound mind to rather let others opinion affect what he sees of me. I cannot really bother that much right now. I have so many other important things on hand. I just want to re-remind myself that, always, act on what you yourself trust in and not what others plant in you =)

Typed so many emails in a fortnight!

The one who is still recovering from a week of sickness!

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Of shopping and holiday

The trip to Singapore was rather different from the trip to Macau/Hong Kong. It was more about shopping than sightseeing and I rather enjoyed it cause I bought loads of stuff. I am wondering if I can just let my things stay put till this coming CNY…

Erm.. no.. I do not think so! How can normal people resist using new things? Ahhh~ Blessed.

But that wasn’t really why I went to Singapore. One of the important agendas was my aunt. She flew in from Canada. And all my Canadian cousins are on Whatsapp/Viber 24/7. Well, other than sleeping =P It feels warm at heart but this makes me want to travel more!

I hope this year, I get the chance to go to either one of those two countries. I do not want to jinx the opportunity but I really hope it will go through well. Otherwise, Edmonton or Boston do not sound too bad! I live to travel =P

Counting blessings instead,

The one who is trying very very hard to be optimistic in life (and an opportunist!)

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Of mindset

I am more settled emotionally after so many things. And I am ready to let go of that person whom I thought was my good friend. I knew he was cunning but William changed my mind when he planted another possibility to explain what might have happened. There is always benefit of doubt! And… now… I guess I was the fool.

I am going to just set that aside. I know I can forgive and forget really easily. But I am set to learn from this lesson. Never again will he has the chance of being as close as how he used to be with me.

I am now feeling lighter at heart. I think I should start to accept the fact that I won’t have the healthiest body. But it is up to me to live life to the fullest! After this job stint… what should I do?

VOLUNTEER in a deep forest?

Study FULL TIME?

Whee~ more decisions to the next stage in life. I guess my family won’t be too happy about me spending BND3K to buy an air ticket into a forest and volunteer there! HAHA

Cheers to better and fuller life,

The one who is once again an optimist in the world of realist and opportunist.

P.s. Fuck ’em opportunists who made use of me to climb their career ladder. I believe in KARMA =)

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Of colleagues and friendships

Maybe I am not suited to work in an office. I recently saw a video on Ted about the power of introverts. I KNOW. Your first reaction must be of that I am not an introvert. But I have to agree on what was said by Susan Cain. Nobody is 100% introvert or extrovert. And the best balance is having both at about the same level. I think I belonged in that balance group. I can be a social butterfly but I can also be a very cold person just minding my own business. Or, did I mis-categorised myself?

I yearn for times alone, which I certainly do not have the privilege to these days. I chose to stay in most of the time on Sunday afternoons/nights (after UBD) but then I felt like I should go out and see some part of Brunei before people tell me that I really lost touch with Bruneian life.

At work, I could not perform as good and as focused as I did when I was previously. When I was working in The Body Shop… I only have to focus on driving my sales and in the end making up the store sales. I do not need to cooperate with the others to a large extent. Now in this office job, sitting here, doing mindless work also not requiring much cooperation. However, I talked a lot more and interact with those I think I can trust. First few days seem good but the continuing days are hard. I admit, I could have done a better job by continuously asking the shit out of everyone. But I did not. I guess Jeremy is somewhat tired of my questions that he actually ignores me most of the time (unknowingly). And when something is wrong, he thinks it is always just my fault. He is actually a typical alpha male anyway.

Recalling back, I was quite excited when I first have The Body Shop’s job. So enthusiastic. Until about three months later, I was totally bored of it and dread going to work. It then seemed like a chore working. In Boustead, the first two months were ok, I was not bored yet but was unhappy due to the bad treatment of Elina and CS team. After changing to Marketing, my life seems to be at the optimal point. I have the part time Masters that I wanted and working so I can save for travel!

Until yet another three months, I realised I am so worn out cause I am too busy trying to reachout for my future that I forgot I needed a rest NOW. I pulled through and finally got the rest I wanted but I realised… I do not want such life in future. I think I have far more exciting things out there waiting for me! Should I go volunteer and do something for humanity? Should I just go study full time? Should I just go apply Government jobs? Should I venture into business? Or better more, should I just bum around? HAHA

I realised to this day, what I am doing, is just like the first week of my work. Focus is on newspaper. I guess this is also a good time to get all the newspaper work sorted till the most recent one before leaving. It piled up over the busy months. And to properly hand this over to Julia. It is a pain to still teach her Primary Mathematics but she will learn *hopeful gaze* It has been about half a month that I was left with no other tasks. Quite free… to the point that I am bored. I think it is also the conscience in me that I feel so guilty receiving salary without anything to do. But some people advised me to just sit here doing nothing and get the salary! Why bother looking for another job which will most probably pay me lesser cause I intend to just fill up time =S

And also the fact that they now go against their words and want me to work on Saturdays! I have been coming in to work as early as I can at about 7.15am and going back as late as 5.30pm and even sometimes at 6pm. I overwork to compensate for just that half day off Saturdays to do my Masters! Yet they are complaining. Ok, others are. Let me see them really do this from Monday to Friday, long hours! Even it is just at 8am, many are already late, what say you about 7am? =.= 7am to 6pm is 11hours of work with 1.5 break. GO ON. When there is one who got WHOLE of Friday off, I did not see others making noise. And if others did, probably you reasoned them out. BUT WHY NOT MY CASE?

Sigh. I do not want to face that already (so typical me, I know. It is fine). What shall I do in the remaining months after resigning? Sleep, eat, play? HAHA… I believe when one door is closed, another will open somewhere. I think I need a rest. From all these. I cannot even figure out who is who now and maybe, I should stop sharing with people at work. Reel back inside the shell. I am just too afraid to find out they actually betrayed my trust. Running away from problems hoping that they will be solved in their own ways is an Aquarian’s rights anyway =P *hides in blanket* Meanwhile, think of when is the right time to open up the new door =)

Keep the rationality,

The one who does not want to lose faith.

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Of compromise and friendship

This is so unreasonable. And just for this time, let me act irrationally!

It is so tiring to always be the one compromising. Imagine this scene, when A always want to do something, B mostly does not want to do it together with A. But when B wants to do something, B expects A to always say yes.

I compromised so many times and just agreed on so many times but why can’t the other party sometimes do the same? How many times I suggested I wanted to do something but the answer is always a “NO”?

And now that you decided you want to do something and I planned it all out. After all those you said you are tired and you do not want to go. I am cool with it. Ok, maybe not so. But I did not make a fuss. Have you even considered that I will be working till 8.30pm and then do what we decided to do? You can even just go back and rest two to three hours before going on with the plan! wtf.

And now I just decided I do not want to go for something else, you make a fuss with my sister. wtf?!

Just for this time, let me be!

The one who is frustrated. 

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