Archive for October, 2012

Of throat and scratches


Exactly my sentiments when the tube was removed from my throat. Did a gastroscopy. Tears just come flowing. Saliva all over the sanitary sheet below my head. I do not make any sense of the pain. I don’t know if that is pain? Before the procedure, they sprayed some stuff into my throat and made me swallow it to numb my throat. So, maybe I did not sense the pain but my body felt it? LOL I just know I was constantly gagging and at some point, felt violent coughs which I can’t cough out, stomach twitching  and quite a few weird moments in the stomach bag. The nurse kept calming me, patting me on my head and reminding me to breathe… I kept gagging and was a bit agitated, and some how was holding my breathe… felt like I was suffocated. Then the doctor kept apologising, maybe for causing the twitches when he was removing samples from my stomach. There was muffled sound — doctor was explaining to two other medical officers of my conditions. I was in a blurred state to actually listen.

After thing was out, I tasted lots of blood in my throat. Something was wrong, I figured. He says it is normal. They asked me to go for a breakfast since I fasted since last night. I rejected to wait for the results. I was not hungry at all. Hunger did not register until I got back to office. Just a short wait, the specialist see me and we discussed lightly about what is going on. He IS familiar. And I think I recognise him. He attended to my grandfather some seven or eight years ago! He must be 37/38 years old now. At that time, he was 30/31!!! Hehehe! *stalker*

Throat is painful now and the stomach feels funny. Maybe it felt it was raped. LOL. I won’t want to share much about the results today. I just hope I will recover in no time. And hope the biopsy result will be good too. New medication today, a more expensive alternative. 

If I wasn’t a Bruneian, I think my parents will go bankrupt. Even cheap antibiotics don’t work for me. I was at a clinic (partners with our company) to have my fever checked. They got me some similar antibiotics and I asked for something else, similar to the one given by the hospital to me. They told me that is very expensive and is not covered by my company =.= And thankful to be a citizen, after verifying my citizen status, I was also prescribed with some special ointments for my skin last year — last checked, it was RM150 or so for a small tube. Quite effective. But my body is really DDY!

I wonder what will happen if I am not a Bruneian. So grateful for everything. Life’s good!

Appreciative of everything,

The one who is still very optimistic!


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Of gratitude

I am so happy and full of gratitude.
I live daily waking up being thankful.
I am so looking forward to next year =D
It is still a long time, well, not too long… not short too =P

I have already written a list and my list is growing! OMG
I do not know where the limit is.
Probably I will know once I am nearer =P
I have to save a lot too for now.
I am trying hard to be thrifty.
It seems hard too.
I have two best friends weddings coming up.
And Christmas is soon!
I do not want to miss those good moments too while moving towards my dream!

Many dream of great achievements at my age, especially in terms of career.
I might be slightly different!
I want to travel. And that is my biggest dream.
To travel freely.
BUT… it is wrong to say that I do not want to achieve something in terms of career.

I am just taking it slow and while moving towards creating my career…
I hope I can travel 😉
I really hope I can live in small cities, big cities, villages, any where! NEW! FRESH!
Merge myself with different cultures and be more forgiving.
I do not know where my future will bring me to.
But I am sure I am moving towards with thankfulness everyday.

Everyday that I can still wake up, eat, walk…
Yes, respiratory problems make me feel scared… scared that I cannot wake from my sleep.
Gastritis might be a problem… I will be seeing ANOTHER specialist again >< But it is also related to my respiratory problems
And of course, the old news, arthritis! I am afraid one day waking up feeling the acute pain I felt for months.
But I guess having all those fears but keep being grateful and thankful keep me moving.

I am also very thankful to have been born Bruneian.
Think of the medical fees I (or rather my family)… have to pay if it was not for Brunei Government?
And really thankful that I get a good opportunity.
When I come back, I dream of getting a good job which will give me more travel chances.
And of course to further my studies too if possible.

Loving life,
The one who is grateful for everything.

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Of 2013/2014

I am so ecstatic! Life is really good. I just got a confirmation letter about my deferment. Probably I haven’t tell those who read my blogs, but those who I am close with, they all know I got a good offer! Where can you get so much money per month without working for a year and yet still get recognition for? Whee~

Brunei Government is just so nice and I am truly happy I am a Bruneian. I really believe in perseverance. And even if you persevere, and not get what you want, it is NOT because you do not deserve it. It is because you deserve MORE!

I remembered how I felt last year about not getting what I wanted. I did not settle for anything lesser. Or perhaps, I did but then not exactly “settled”. While holding to a less favourable offer, I was set to search for better ones coming my way.

I have a lot of hurdles but not really hard =P Those hurdles I met with were more of my worries. Along the way, many helped me too. And this time, I got an offer way better than the one that I applied (but did not get) last time. The pay out is double and I get to go overseas. I aim to have fun and make full use of the time!

It is still some time before me actually going for it. BUT I FEEL LIKE PACKING ALREADY! Life is really good =) Before I got the confirmation, I was kind of sad and felt that it will be very cruel to revoke what was agreed just because I wanted to defer. And two weeks down the road, TODAY, I got that promising call and ta-dah~ positive answer!

The list that I prepared (still going to add more to the list) is going to be useful! I have so much things to anticipate. I will now start with finish off cleaning my room! =P I started and did cleaning for 60%. My maid left for good and a part time one came. She basically gave us a big topic to talk about among ourselves! Perhaps I will blog about her when I feel like it (I posted my Taiwan pictures halfway through on FB hahaha.. I will probably settle that first before blogging about the maid). Anyway, because the maid is there, I decided to clean up my room as I thought she can help…

End up doing it myself and packed many other things uncleaned into my big red luggage. Will clean that up perhaps next week or two. And I can focus on slowly preparing for my trip =D Yippeee~ Oh and also to tailor some clothes! YES! And another thing, save the money! Arghhh… MONEY MATTERS AGAIN. Where am I to save so much money? *brain dancing around uneasily*

Things will sort out in the end,

The one who is ever positive (or rather… over-optimistic) LOL

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Of girls and Grey

HA! I bet you all thought I will be talking about how girls lust over guys =P NOOOOO~

I was actually invited to dinner at a quite expensive place. It is one of the restaurants where they will write their menu on a chalkboard and bring the chalkboard to take orders. I think I quite like the “feel” hehehe~

I was a bit hesitant because it is an expensive place.  The first time I went, my aunt was the one paying and I was fine with it… She is my aunt! But this time is a friend, a very kind friend at work =)

I just knew that she got forced into this treat by my colleagues in the Finance department. I think it is generous of her to treat already and it was a bit over the line for them to request such expensive one.

Nonetheless, my topic is not exactly that. It is how that department is just 100% girls and with lots of hidden jealousy or so =P They just got a few of the girls coming along to the dinner and I thought one of them will be Hazel.

To my surprise, she was not invited. At first, I thought it was my friend who did not want to because she previously slipped something about her being poor at work and somehow dislike her. Just today, I realised, it is not the case.

Her colleagues in her own department made the decision to exclude her. I am very puzzled as to why! She can have a quite bad temper and sometimes very ignorant. Sometimes aloof. But she can be friendly too at times! I guess everyone has these traits, especially myself. I practise self control and I am very well aware of my surroundings. So usually, I am just aloof around people when I do not feel like making friends. Otherwise, I am quite bubbly and friendly.

Having said these, I think they had some misunderstandings or in fact, did have a fight over some stuff in the office. Their relationship within that office changed quite a lot since about a year ago. And I have to re-iterate, I cannot work well with girls! I am so lucky the department I am in now, only has Julia and I with the boys. I feel so much more comfortable.

If I ever have to work with a whole bunch of girls, please let them be jolly, happy, open minded girls with no jealous intentions. UNLESS, I have a Grey that they can be jealous of. I will be proud to have them be jealous of me having Grey =P

On to Grey, YES! I read them! I finished the trilogy. Reading the books itself was way more satisfying that reading the PDFs. Luckily my sister got all three books from Australia earlier. HEHEHE… but I still downloaded the PDFs so I can share them with my friends. And also so that I can read while at work *tsk tsk*

Sincerely thank Karen for pushing me to read them. It was so enjoyable, me preferring second and third books over the first and love those very panicky/up beat plots in book three!

Till then,

The one who believe being positive is the key to miracle happening =)

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Of guys and colleagues

Realised something very amusing today.

A pair of brothers joined us recently. Ok.. maybe for some time already. It is so funny how they are “hot” topics now.

It is like girls (old/young/single/attached) suddenly go head over heels over them HAHAHA… The younger brother looks very kiddie but is of women’s taste. I think they see him like how you will think of a toy boy! HAHAHA.. it amuses me cause I never thought they will take interest in toy boys! I wouldn’t be surprised if I one day know they marry a guy ten years their junior *grinsss*

The older brother is quite well built with a nice personality (I cannot say much having known him for a while and did not actually talk to him much). Good humour at times, goes fishing and shows gentleman traits like holds the door for girls etc.. (Much contrary to how Jeremy is like! Grrr.. on to him later on). And he is apparently dubbed “Flavour of the Month”!

They have their own “secret” fan clubs now.. LOL. I wonder how long it will take for the whole company to know about this. So much gushes and discussions now going on about them in that department hahaha…

So onto Jeremy! Someone was even asking me if I was in JFC (J in reference to Jeremy). WTF?! LOL But Jeremy this meanie actually have the audacity to ask me be nice to him when he always play pranks on me. He nearly broke my neck today. And I now wonder how people see us. He asked me if I would treat others the way I treat him. In fact, I treat most people I am close to like that. It is up to him to believe it or not OR to take it otherwise. I have no qualm over it. I guess I have nothing to clarify when I have nothing to hide (I hope it is really me to always stop explaining about things).

Anyway, it still amuses me how the girls in the company reacted… reacting to them hahaha… 

Blogging occasionally,

The one who quite miss Taiwan (surprisingly)

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