Archive for August, 2013

Of habit

To be honest, I have a habit… perhaps a bad one?

I still love sucking my thumbs (any) or pinky! HAHAHA

Just making a confession,

The one who is enjoying Running Man!

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Of old and fraility

My grandma is fast approaching 90 and I hope she goes way past that!

My grandma has been a very hardworking and strong woman her whole life. She been through so much but stays strong all the time, though she has had her ups and downs.

Now she has recovered from her major brain surgery. Recovered very well but hit with a minor stroke. She sank into depression until my uncle talked her out of it. We cannot deny that she is old but then if she can still live a good life, why not? No matter what she thinks, she is never a burden.

I am so glad my family can afford to take care of her, buying her things like you would for a baby and employing two maids to take care of her. It is first day of Hari Raya today in Brunei so both the maids are given day offs. I came to take care of my grandmother.

She doesn’t speak much now and mostly mumbles. It is so heart wrenching and even brought me to tears to have her say thank you to me clearly just because I fed her. I feel so sad. She must have heard what my (stupid) aunt said.

The story goes that her sister’s so-called “husband” [her ex-husband died in a car crash and this guy came along and gave her some “potion” — yes, do not laugh] passed away this morning. It is the Ghost Festival month and him being diabetic for a decade requiring dialysis. He has no other option but to have his dialysis done through his neck. It is risky and was the third time for dialysis through neck. End up passing away while having the dialysis. The guy’s sister even refused to claim his dead body and wants my aunt’s sister to pay for the burial and ceremony.

I mean, I am sympathetic towards all these but my aunt doesn’t have to repeat all these in front of my grandmother few times. Just makes my grandmother feels worse. My grandmother is worth our time and care despite whatever that is happening or happened. She worked so hard for our welfare and build us great home.

According to Aunt JL, this stupid aunt seldom comes up to visit my grandmother, just stayed downstairs in her room. But cause we are here, so she will come up. So pretentious, not that I never knew she is like this.

Seriously dislike her lack of tact, or she might even have done it purposely. She was so sarcastic to say my grandmother is strong in withstanding her condition now; her brain surgery and now bedridden with the feeding tube.

If possible, I rather she doesn’t come up at all. Do not send the negative vibe to my grandmother.

Stay strong,

The one who has been rebellious

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Of unconditional love

Just got the time to talk to my uncle after so long. He loves and cares unconditionally.

He taught me so much by being a good role model himself and instilled what many will call “virtues” in us. I have been so blessed despite whatever I have been through.

Life is also knowing how to find where the rainbow is after the storm (well, other than dancing in the rain — stay in during stormy weather =P). I will be leaving soon and he seems to be full of worry. Will I be fine if there is no one to pick me up there? Am I scared? Will I have enough to spend? Will I be safe? Will my accommodation be good? Endless questions that kept our conversation going and mostly on my well-being.

His love gives me hope,

The one who asks no more. Grateful.

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Of love and stupidness

I hope I have the courage to tell her these: ” 人在做,天在看。你凭着什么在哪里理直气壮,无声嚷嚷?他的无语不代表什么; 只因他成熟、顾及大局。真看不过去!都几岁了,还透过面子书做这些幼稚的东西。希望你早日醒醒。”

Just because I am closer to him, I stick by what he is doing – ignore. Ignorance can sometimes really be a blessing.

BUT… I don’t know why I went and told him to go communicate with her and talk thing through like adults instead of letting her just post those FB pictures and statuses.

His reaction and misconception that she targeted me (I understood why) when I told him the aforementioned just some how showed how his ignorance is slightly childish. Wouldn’t it be better to thoroughly end everything if the intention is to let things fade away? If you are brave enough to start, why not to end too?

Then again, I might have perceived everything wrongly in my irritated state of mind. Or perhaps he/she/they saw through a larger state of mind.

Sorry for the pea-brain,
The one who perhaps care too much for a friend.

P.S. And if love really makes people stoop so low and turn super stupid… that is perhaps not unconditional love. And if it is an unconditional one, where do all these childishness stand in between??? I hope I will never fall in such materialistic and conditional love…ever.

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Of holiday and being sick

Today is officially my first day of holiday. Yesterday was a half day work as it was Saturday – taking that my holiday starts that very noon, I went home to sleep skipping lunch. I literally slept, not nap. Till it was half past six in the evening. The feeling was so great – a rebel awakening.

As soon as I was enjoying…  I realised I have endless streams flowing down my right nostril! I refused to take it that I will be sick.  Had some vit C concoction and continue with enjoying.

I slept at 6am and woke to the playful knocks of my baby sister at half past noon to realise I am officially sick. Life o life… I was  not born nor raised as a workaholic!

Actifed, please do well
Body, please do not succumb to more
Mind, please just take it that your nose is too try and is self-lubricating atm

Definitely not a workaholic,
The one who has yet to enjoy her holiday! 

P.S. I forgot. I now have a new found love – Eucalyptus Oil. For whatever occasion: D

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