Of Kindness and Praise

Really, people think I am nice. Perhaps it is just that they are neutral to things that they think that a little warmth that I exude is being nice. I do not like being told I am nice actually.

They will somehow give you the pressure that you can not say no. And when they think that you are nice, you are supposed to be angelic and all. Sorry, I just try to do things that I think is right and there are many chances I am wrong in many ways. And I want to have the chance to be spoilt and lazy too. So please, don’t put the pressure on me to being nice always. I definitely am not.

Just this week we decided to get shopping deliveries. We shared the shopping so that we can reduce the delivery cost. However, it all became my sole duty to get the orders done, payment made, delivery contact and to receive the delivery. In the previous post, I was celebrating about the unlimited internet and raved about the good network. But honestly, they do not work on my this campus (too kampung!) but it works well in other places. My initial idea was that I have free wifi in my room and on campus, and thus does not really require the internet. I need the internet when I travel and when I am away from my campus. So I totally forgotten that I need connectivity for calls etc in my campus so I can be contacted by deliverymen!!! GAHHHH!

I do not mind doing all the above because it is also my shopping goods and delivery. The problem is that when the problem arise for the whole process, I feel so helpless and nobody who shared the shopping is willing to solve it together with me. I feel so sad, frustrated, worried, etc… It was friends in another campus who did NOT join in the shopping order that helped me till the end with resolving the problem. I feel so grateful for the help and yet could not stop being negative about what happened to those who ordered the things with me. I understand that they are busy, but hey, I am busy too. My friends are busy too! But they finished their stuff and got back to me to help me resolve it. The others could not even say sorry I cannot help you in time for me to respond. 

I just hope that all these glitches are because of the first time we are doing it. I hope next week’s order will be smooth and easy. I definitely hope I solved the calls problem too. I really hope I will not be as negative and see better side of people next time. Well, my friends are still very nice people. Just perhaps I worried myself too much till I am so angry at being helpless.


The order was cancelled but then got back on track again. Hopefully it will be nicely delivered without more hiccups tomorrow.


Praying for smooth receipt of the groceries,

The one who is too harsh on herself and others!


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