Of being too much of a bitch

I really do not know. Now I feel bad too that he is sad.

We were randomly arranged to work in group for a presentation which will be graded by both our lecturers and our peers.

I was arranged to work with F and K. F has opinions but is not a pushing type, but he gets things done. K agrees with everything but doesn’t get things done. I, on the other hand, am very worried and pushing a lot to make sure things get done. If it is a group work, it is better to get things sorted early. If it is a solo work, I can do it whenever. Considering that everyone is from different place (where they stay, not nationality wise ><) and has different timetable (well, just K has a different one from us), I tried to ensure that everything goes in place as early as possible.

I have been quite mean, well being honest and straightforward can be expressed as being blunt and mean. I was basically expressing in a detailed email how I am disappointed with K and let him know to prepare well for the next meeting. I got no reply from him the whole day and to be finally told in a one sentence email from him that he will change his group to work with someone else.

I feel hurt in his one sentence; his hurt and mine too. I wanted to be honest as I do not want to begrudgingly do his work. Yet, now I feel maybe he is just slow and need more time. And maybe English is a barrier (My English is not that good too and I feel inferior talking to people with very good English, my vocabulary is lacking)? Or maybe other reasons that I am not aware of? I have never been a caring person and this instance, the same too. I wonder how will it be the next time when we meet? K is definitely a nice person, not in anyway a bad person or what. Just we do not and cannot work in the same pace.

I hope he found better members than me to compromise with. I have been a bitch and I won’t suddenly be as docile as a sheep if he won’t cooperate. But I am still ready to work with him in case he failed to change to another group. I hope he is well. He cared for his pride of course, which is a good thing. Otherwise, he can just use what I have done and present. Having his pride already showed that he did not purposely not prepare for the meeting, be late without giving notice, etc. Maybe it is also cultural differences. And these made me feel worse.

Sigh. Life o life!

Taking a step back to reflect,

The one who has to be kinder for others must be fighting a harder battle.


1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    […] I last blogged about the hurt and sadness I felt here: https://unordinaire.wordpress.com/2013/11/03/of-being-too-much-of-a-bitch/ […]

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