Of love and fidelity

I cannot imagine just yet. Being with someone for ten years and within that nine years they have been so loving and caring of one another but the guy never said “I love you”. After the nine years, the girl got tired of waiting and waiting with no prospect. And the guy let it be (but in fact he did not plan to let go of the girl, he secretly bought a house under her name — that was why he reduced the “pocket money” for her). But during their sixth year, she already told him that the most she will wait is only ten years. And on the ninth year, he sort of “changed” and seemed like he doesn’t care. She thought it was over and got a new boyfriend. It was not a clear-cut we-are-over kind of relationship between her and the “former”. The new boyfriend is also as nice, if not better, than the “former”.

Within few months of knowing her, started meeting her family and proposing. In preparation to get married with her, bought her a new VW Beetle and even got a land and planned to build a house. Everything is progressing well until a week before the tenth year anniversary with the “former” the “former” looked for her again and she told him “Sorry, it is too late, I am getting married”.

Both guys are married, with kids and very wealthy. The boyfriend actually is the higher ranking officer of the “former”, and so actually receives bigger pay cheque! But in terms of commitment and love, I definitely think the boyfriend is better. When their wives knew of their relationship (two different wives at two different occasion), the “former” was running away and hiding leaving her to lick her own wound but the boyfriend stood up for her and said it is his own fault for the extramarital affair. BUT, they both can marry her legally (Muslims), just the boyfriend is more responsible and committed and hence decide to wed her but not the “former”.

She just want a loving legalized family. She has her own kids too. She has to take care of their feelings and to not let others words and actions hurt them as they grow up. What is the point of asking her to get back with him when he does not plan to wed her and to keep her in the illegal relationship (in which if found out will be penalised according to Syariah law)?

I for once will never, well try my best, to never get into another person’s family. It hurts not matter how much you think you love. But then everyone has their own story and in these cases, the wives of these husbands involved with her do really have their faults too but it might not seem obvious to others. People just point fingers at her, and sometimes the husbands. In my eyes, all parties are at fault! We cannot judge others relationships and choices anyway. I would just like to lend her my ears and shoulders.

It takes a lot to build a relationship but just a little to ruin it. Case in point, nine years of relationship ruined by one year of cold shoulder. And also his inability to commit openly to their relationship. After all those years, he finally said “I love you” when she wanted to get married with another guy. Too late. Just too late.

We can make a good novel/drama out of their ten years long relationship. Like seriously, all the ups and downs!!! In the usual idol drama, the girl lead will be back with the “former”, But in this reality, for the happiness of my friend, I believe he will be better with the boyfriend.

Wishing her all the best,

The one who doesn’t want to judge others choices.


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